Rainbows in Cubao

Paeng Ferrer
28 Oct 2013


"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion
for the moment that we're not alone." - Orson Welles


The blinking lights from that cheap toy
put me in a trance.
It was probably made in China
with a cartoon character perched on top.

The trivial things you find
in the messy streets of Cubao,
especially at night.

Out of envy, from the toy
or perhaps from her happiness,
I let out a thick streak of smoke to her face
from the cig I've been carrying all day.
She wept fear. I didn't apologize.

What a cheap electronic imitation of rainbows
in the hands of a child
but it made her eternally blissful.

You thumped me on the shoulders
reminding me of my morals.

I didn't even move,
not a single heart beat
because a tiny throb becomes thunderous
when everyone else says nothing.

I’m sorry if my house needs dusting.
I am dust and you must take care of asthma attacks.

Why do people neglect to care
even though it is the only truth
that is exquisite and hopeful?
See if I care.

So I went to my dusty lodging and locked the door
with a pendulum chain
that I prefer never to open once more.

You just stared at the roads
and clutched your bag tightly like a lover
waiting for your bus.

I guess you're happy too,
just like that toddler in tears,
when you hopped on your ride.

Puzzled, the vendor gazed at me.
I gave him 50 bucks
for that tasteless toy
and handed it to you.
You refused politely.

See if I care.
My house endures dust.
The flashing plaything persists to annoy
while I throw away my cigarettes.
I stare at the door,
where the sliding chain still swings,
and bang my head on the doorknob! #

Thesis Proposal

Sumulat ako ng tula noong nakaraang semestre. Habang gumagawa ng thesis proposal. Bangag ako nun. Hanggang ngayon gumagawa pa rin ako ng thesis proposal. Para ito sa mga nagti-THESIS.

"Thesis Proposal"
ni Paeng Ferrer
March 8, 2012

Gusto ko sanang sumulat ng tula
at ito ang una, huli, at tanging linya:
"Tambak na'ng hugasan sa lababo
maski 'di pa hapunan."

_____________________________
Maiksi at nakakatawa sana ang gusto kong emosyong lumabas. Kumbaga parang joke na may punchline. O kaya parang isang stanza sa blues. Pero parang malungkot yata ang lumitaw.

Orangy Neon Orange

I found an old childhood photo
of me cheerfully sitting on my dad's lap.
The image leaks a carroty color.
"Where are my crayons?"
I probably appealed from him.

If jazz music would have a hue,
it would be orange
like the shade of cigarette smoke
rising into a dim light
that turns into orangy musical notes
while Peyroux's “Dance me to the end of Love”
plays in the background.

My mind takes a trip
with a gentle orange highlighter
like dipping a whole page in neon paint
and unlocks my intellect into new cosmic distances.
I am the auburn book.

My car has orange lights
that warn other drivers
whether my body is turning left or right.
It also cautions when I’m in trouble.
“We know where you are heading
and we would not get in the way,”
the other motorists would say.
Orange illuminates direction.

Misdirection, on the other hand,
confuses my opponents
with intense orange hand wraps.
Do I win? Not surprisingly, nope,
but neither do I lose.
We’re both in bad shape,
I unleash 3-punch combos everywhere
while my rival counters most of them,
but we endure the exchange throughout the night.
We live in a square boxing ring.

I relax with orange tea.
It is a bundle of fresh herbs
cooked to a concoction.
It is like a masseuse
who touches my tongue.
It rubs out stress
and incapacitates me to euphoria.
My shadow shows a blissful figure.

A library, my boxing gloves,
sunflowers, a fruit, and a bag…
my entire world is a perky orange.

Self-actualization is a radical orange.
Don’t you ever try to erase it in my universe. ***

My orange hand wraps

“Na-gets ko ‘yun boy pickup*”

Nakitadyak ka na ba ng ubod nang lakas
sa kinuyog na kawawang snatcher
para lang ilabas ang galit
nang mabasted?

Napasigaw ka na ba ng Boom!
para lumayas ang katahimikan
dahil dial tone lang ang sumagot
nang winika mong aylabyu?

Boom!

Nakisali ka na ba
sa mga rally para sa environment
kahit amoy basura naman ang kwarto mo
kasi ini-stalk mo si Caileigh
na myembro ng grupong Grimpis?
Boom!

Uminom ka na ba
ng 20 tasa ng kape sa isang araw
pero pakiramdam mo tulog ka pa rin
at walang hanggang binabangungot?
Boom!

Sumayaw ka na ba
ng "Who run the world"
kasi ang saya-saya
ng viral video ni Angelica, Camille, at Melay
at akala mo liligaya ka rin
kapag ginaya mo sila?
"Sino ba'ng niloloko mo?"
tanong mo sa sarili.
Dagling bumaligtad ang ngiti
at nagbuntong-hininga.
Boom!

Nagpakalat-kalat ka na ba
sa SM Fairview kahit alas-10 pa lang ng umaga
at kakabukas pa lang ng gate,
kahit binoboykot mo ang mall
dahil nagputol umano sila ng pine trees sa Baguio,
habang nakikinig ka sa kantang "esem" ni Dong Abay
at iniisip mo kung anong banda siya galing,
Yano ba o Pan,
sa i-pod mong gusto mong ipamigay
dahil lalo mo lang naaalala si Caileigh
na nagturo sa iyong mag-gitara,
at nanood ng love story
para manatiling kumakapit sa paniniwala
sa kadakilaan ng pag-ibig
ni Derek Ramsey at Anne Curtis?

Saka mo sinabi nang malakas
dahil naka-earphone ka,
"Sana pine tree na lang ako
para 'di na naiinlab.
Masakit sa puso eh.
Boom!" ***

____________________
* Ang pamagat ay mula sa Bubble Gang

Sinubukan ko lang gayahin ang tunog nila Bob Ong at Eros S. Atalia. Kung hindi epektibo, okay lang. Experiment lang naman, 'di ba? :-)