"Tracks"

Writing prompt with Pamela Mendoza:

There's a large rat in my kitchen.

There are numerous roads
but not all can be crossed.
You trespass others.
Numerous acts are not allowed!
Numerous wounds!

It is dark. I carry a dying torch.
It takes too long.
A lengthy journey.

My room's a mess!
Where? How? When?

Meaninglessness?
Nothing!
Where? When? How?

Come! Left! Halt!
Forward! Right! Walk back!

Meaninglessness-
with "mean" as lexical unit
that also sounds like the term
to denote cruelty or evil,
I just realized.

The previous revolution subsides
while I wait for the next to come.
But in between
is the most grueling portion.
Nothing is emerging.
Nothing changes.
I do not notice
because I'm busy searching for direction.
Where? When? How?
How? When? Where?

Not all roads are free.
Rabid dogs stalk me
with confused minds
and sharp fangs. ***

Outlooks

Paeng Ferrer
October 25, 2012

“The world is change; life is opinion”
                                         - Democritus

Perhaps I’m the type of person
who gets nowhere.

I imagine that my destination secretly gleams
for I’ve obtained something, possibly,
sometime, over the distance
but it is more mournful.

If reality is atoms and energy
then I am space.
I cannot ascertain what I am,
like an inquiry in abeyance. 
Am I an error?

I stay in lifeless places:
my room, 6th street, and a dilapidated mall.

My 200 word abstract weeps
because I give no conclusion
nor recommendation.
I merely have questions
and crumpled data.

Maybe it’s because I’m not just delayed
but rather I’m stuck.
I am suddenly surrounded by dusk
but I am numb to it.

Should I continue writing?
Was I even writing before?
I don’t remember.
My room remains barren.

My thesis is more like an outdated phonebook.
People cut it into pieces
to turn into ugly paper maché.
They’d rather have an unusual interior design
so as not to waste paper
but they’d readily throw away data.

If the dilapidated mall would collapse,
would I dig myself underneath it
just to get somewhere?
Would I short circuit my laptop
and devour its hard drive?

I cannot survive on opinions
but they taste better than microchips.

At least I’d accomplish something.
I’d be the first person to consume a computer. #

Orangy Neon Orange

I found an old childhood photo
of me cheerfully sitting on my dad's lap.
The image leaks a carroty color.
"Where are my crayons?"
I probably appealed from him.

If jazz music would have a hue,
it would be orange
like the shade of cigarette smoke
rising into a dim light
that turns into orangy musical notes
while Peyroux's “Dance me to the end of Love”
plays in the background.

My mind takes a trip
with a gentle orange highlighter
like dipping a whole page in neon paint
and unlocks my intellect into new cosmic distances.
I am the auburn book.

My car has orange lights
that warn other drivers
whether my body is turning left or right.
It also cautions when I’m in trouble.
“We know where you are heading
and we would not get in the way,”
the other motorists would say.
Orange illuminates direction.

Misdirection, on the other hand,
confuses my opponents
with intense orange hand wraps.
Do I win? Not surprisingly, nope,
but neither do I lose.
We’re both in bad shape,
I unleash 3-punch combos everywhere
while my rival counters most of them,
but we endure the exchange throughout the night.
We live in a square boxing ring.

I relax with orange tea.
It is a bundle of fresh herbs
cooked to a concoction.
It is like a masseuse
who touches my tongue.
It rubs out stress
and incapacitates me to euphoria.
My shadow shows a blissful figure.

A library, my boxing gloves,
sunflowers, a fruit, and a bag…
my entire world is a perky orange.

Self-actualization is a radical orange.
Don’t you ever try to erase it in my universe. ***

My orange hand wraps

“Na-gets ko ‘yun boy pickup*”

Nakitadyak ka na ba ng ubod nang lakas
sa kinuyog na kawawang snatcher
para lang ilabas ang galit
nang mabasted?

Napasigaw ka na ba ng Boom!
para lumayas ang katahimikan
dahil dial tone lang ang sumagot
nang winika mong aylabyu?

Boom!

Nakisali ka na ba
sa mga rally para sa environment
kahit amoy basura naman ang kwarto mo
kasi ini-stalk mo si Caileigh
na myembro ng grupong Grimpis?
Boom!

Uminom ka na ba
ng 20 tasa ng kape sa isang araw
pero pakiramdam mo tulog ka pa rin
at walang hanggang binabangungot?
Boom!

Sumayaw ka na ba
ng "Who run the world"
kasi ang saya-saya
ng viral video ni Angelica, Camille, at Melay
at akala mo liligaya ka rin
kapag ginaya mo sila?
"Sino ba'ng niloloko mo?"
tanong mo sa sarili.
Dagling bumaligtad ang ngiti
at nagbuntong-hininga.
Boom!

Nagpakalat-kalat ka na ba
sa SM Fairview kahit alas-10 pa lang ng umaga
at kakabukas pa lang ng gate,
kahit binoboykot mo ang mall
dahil nagputol umano sila ng pine trees sa Baguio,
habang nakikinig ka sa kantang "esem" ni Dong Abay
at iniisip mo kung anong banda siya galing,
Yano ba o Pan,
sa i-pod mong gusto mong ipamigay
dahil lalo mo lang naaalala si Caileigh
na nagturo sa iyong mag-gitara,
at nanood ng love story
para manatiling kumakapit sa paniniwala
sa kadakilaan ng pag-ibig
ni Derek Ramsey at Anne Curtis?

Saka mo sinabi nang malakas
dahil naka-earphone ka,
"Sana pine tree na lang ako
para 'di na naiinlab.
Masakit sa puso eh.
Boom!" ***

____________________
* Ang pamagat ay mula sa Bubble Gang

Sinubukan ko lang gayahin ang tunog nila Bob Ong at Eros S. Atalia. Kung hindi epektibo, okay lang. Experiment lang naman, 'di ba? :-)

Para sa Isang Kalakbay

Paeng Ferrer
(21 Aug 09)

Umaatras ang aking lakas ng loob
tuwing 'di ka mahagilap.
Tulad ng lagusang 'di nauubos.
Saan na nga ba ako tutungo?

Nananamlay ang mga binti ko
at bumubulagta ako sa sulok
upang magpahinga.
Nasasaid na ang baong tubig
at kumukurap ang munting sulo.
Napapagal din pala ang ilaw.

Totoo nga ba ang naririnig
na mga halakhak sa labas?
Nawa'y 'di guni-guni't bangungot.

Ginigising ako ng realidad
sa kweba. Mga ahas, gagamba,
paniki, daga, at alupihan.

Tiyak nga ba ang distansya?
Kinukwenta at sinusukat?
Malapit ka kung malapit
at malayo kung malayo?
O anong layo mo ngayon.

Kay sayang pangarap ang paglaya!
Pinakikinggan natin ang ingay
at galak ng mga tao sa labas.

Isa kang hamog dito sa kuweba.
Nagpapatunay sa halaga ng pag-asa
ang pagdampi mo sa mga uhaw kong labi.

Siguro'y mahaba pa ang lagusan
subalit nararamdaman ko
na matagal pa ang kakayahan kong kumilos,
sumulong, lumaban.

Ikaw ang aking tagapagligtas.
Oo,... ikaw ang aking salbasyon. #

untitled 2

8:00PM December 21, 2007

Aking ikinalulungkot na aking 'di matiis
ang sa buhay ay maging isang alipin.
Pati buwa'y pumipiglas na sa araw ay lumitaw,
hangi'y sumisigaw na sa kakahuya'y tumagos.

Ngayong gabi'y nilikha ko,
karamihan sa natatanaw ko.
Kaydingal ng mundo kung malaya ako.
Sa dulo ba'y walang saysay ang mga kinatha ko?

Sa loob ng balikat ko,
may nabubuhay at pumipiglas.
Bibitawan ko ang pasan-pasan 'pagkat
humiwalay ang kaluluwa ko sa hanapbuhay.

Darating ba ang panahong lalawak ang tanaw ko?
Guguho bawat kilalang kultura,
at 'di na pamilyar ang buhay.
Sisikat ang buwa'y kay aga. ***